April 9, 2007
Resistance is Futile  - it is your Destiny

Destiny is defined as a course of events that is unchangeable and will inevitably happen in the future. What hubris to name a proposed tax increase Project Destiny; as if it is the unwavering fate of local taxpayers is to shell out $750 million dollars for this latest government spending slight-of-hand.

Raising taxes should require a compelling need and a clear benefit to the public. Project Destiny fails this and in fact represents government at its worst. First identify how much can be raised and then start the haggling over how to spend it. If we are not careful, it will end up funding more corporate welfare, loans to county supervisors, and bonuses to other CEITCs.

The Greater Des Moines Partnership, a private economic development group, not even a part of the government, is largely behind this push for this new tax. Its "Yes to Destiny" marketing campaign actually makes the Orwellian claim that this is a way to lower the tax burden. What nonsense. The only way to lower the tax burden is to lower government spending.

The public trust in government's stewardship of our money and our assets is at an all time low. Why should taxpayers say yes to an additional $750 million when local government cannot figure out how to shut down the spending at CETIC to this day?

Vote no on Destiny. Demand more accountability from government.


March 5, 2007
Leave Iowa voter registration alone

The Register editorial "Let Iowans register to vote on Election Day," provides little justification to change a voting process that has worked so well for so long. Same day voter registration is basically throwing out the registration system. With so much identify fraud and theft today, the effort should be put into enforcing the existing laws.

The editorial states that there is nothing magic about registering to vote 10 days or 110 days in advance of an election. That's true; in fact, there is nothing magic about registration or voting at all. But even the great magician Houdini would understand the logic of registering a reasonable time before voting. This allows time for identify verification and should minimize mistakes or fraud before an election instead of afterward.

The editorial notes a "slight opportunity for fraud," nicely understated, almost Cheney-esque. Any additional voting fraud should be unacceptable. Many elections are very close these days, the stakes are high and the charges of voter fraud seem to be growing not shrinking. I really don't care how they vote in Idaho or New Hampshire; I just want to keep Iowa off that other list with Florida and Ohio.

After all of the problems in the 2000 elections and the Help America Vote Act, I'm still skeptical of government solutions to "improve" voting - the best example being touch screen voting, without a paper trail, on equipment sold by political contributors, who also tell us there is no opportunity for fraud. I have much more confidence in filling in ovals with my number 2 pencil on a piece of paper that can be read correctly multiple times by an optical scanner.

It is not a burden whatsoever to register or vote in Iowa under the existing laws. A couch potato like me does not even have to get up to do it. Applications to register and request for absentee ballot are available at every government related office and can be downloaded from the web. Furthermore, as every election approaches, I am bombarded with these documents by both major parties and local election officials. I get so much of this official junk mail I use the reverse sides for my grocery lists.

Everybody doesn't get to vote; there are eligibility requirements and a certain amount of responsibility involved. There are restrictions on age, criminal background, citizenship, and you are supposed to be a living human being and not a cat. You should be responsible enough to register on time and know where and when to vote. The right should not be extended to just anyone who is hanging around a polling place on Election Day.

Please leave the law alone. We all know that our Iowa Legislature doesn't need another grand solution looking for a problem.


March 1, 2007
Protesters have a purpose
D.M. Register. Opinion. March 8, 2007

Sen. Chuck Grassley continues to demonstrate just how out of touch he is with everything that goes on around him. Recently he complained about the occupation of his office by anti-war protestors.

Get a clue, Grassley. Occupation is what the United States is doing to Iraqis, no longer by any sort of coalition, no longer to promote democracy, but now to bring some stability back to that country - as it was before the invasion.

And for Grassley's information, it's not his office. It belongs to the taxpayers, and he shouldn't get used to "occupying" it much longer. One might consider the protesters misguided, but they are at least doing something besides acting like President Bush's lapdog.

Civil disobedience is a great American tradition, and an expression of our freedoms. It has been going on even longer than Grassley has been living off our taxes.


January 12, 2007
Taxing People is the easy answer
D.M. Register. Opinion. January 20, 2007

When I read Jack Hatch's proposal for statewide universal health care paid for by a $1 cigarette tax increase, a little Ronald Reagan voice in the back of my brain said, "There you go again."

Last time I heard this tax increase justified, it was because smokers are such a burden on the health system and this will help pay for their disproportionate cost. But now the new tax will actually go into a trust fund to buy health care for people who won't or can't buy their own. Bait and switch or politics as usual?

I admit I am cynical about further taxes at any level. All we hear lately in Iowa is cigarette tax, Destiny tax, a statewide sales tax increase, more transportation taxes, on and on and on. Politicians can always identify their next victim to tax much more readily than providing details on how the money will get spend. Whenever it goes into that oxymoron called a "government trust fund," I know the tax money is as good as gone and we'll never figure out where it went.

I suppose a cigarette tax will make our nanny state types in government feel better about themselves as they try to regulate our vices. But as a former smoker I can assure you that an additional $1 tax per pack will not have any effect on the demand for cigarettes. It will just encourage a supply surge from cheaper states. The market works much more efficiently than most politicians.


December 18, 2006
Bill Riley was even more than State Fair
D.M. Register. Further Reflections Opinion. January 14, 2007

The years fade, but certain memories remain with such pleasant clarity.

As a small child growing up in Des Moines, there were two local cartoon shows you did not want to miss: The Breakfast Club with Bill Riley in the morning and The Floppy Show in the afternoon. It wasn't always a sure thing in our house; you only got to watch TV in the morning if bed was made, homework was done and you weren't in trouble.

The Breakfast Club was so unique, with quirky cartoons like Felix the Cat and Tom Terrific. Between cartoons, Bill Riley was an endless bundle of energy with a huge smile. Instead of mindless kiddy-dribble, Riley talked seriously to the kids about the State Fair Talent Search and his many other promotions.

Riley always closed the show with an announcement like, "Come out this weekend when we visit the fine folks of Me-RENG-O-O!" with the "RENG-O" booming out like he was bringing the circus to town. I learned a lot of Iowa geography just tracking Riley's county by county visits on behalf of the Talent Search. I also learned to correctly pronounce words like "Nevada" and "Buena Vista."

I remember Bill Riley working tirelessly on Des Moines' first bike trail that ran from Ashworth Park through Water Works Park and today bears his name. He kept track of the contributions on a huge squiggly bike trail graphic on the wall and often featured kids on the Breakfast Club who had a lemonade stand or neighborhood penny-drive for the bike trail.

Watching those kids work so hard and generously for something that benefited the whole community really struck me. My, how times have changed. That first trail was built with private funds from people who really cared. Today, such trails are somehow related to the Interstate highway system and we all get to contribute to them with highway taxes.

I wasn't a talent sprout; I always envied the little ones with the courage and drive to compete in the State Fair Talent Search. But Bill Riley had a positive impact on my life in other ways as I'm sure he had for thousands of other kids growing up in Iowa. Rest in Peace, Bill. You will be missed.


December 14, 2006
Swift Raids

What I don't understand is that I hear a lot of "illegal immigration is responsible for a large part of our drugs, rapes, gangs, medical and welfare abuse, etc." Yet the Department of Homeland Security chose this moment to raid, hassle and probably deport people who were working, paying taxes, sending their kids to school to learn English and in general contributing to their community. What part of our homeland security was really at risk due to these people?

Granted they didn't have their papers; some probably illegally crossed the border and knowingly bought forged identities. There should be consequences for anyone breaking the law. But along with securing our borders there should also be comprehensive immigration reform so people who want to work don't have to take such desperate actions to better themselves and their families.

I do hope that those who say there are no jobs Americans won't do, please get in line for employment at Swift & Co. There are a lot of openings that need to be filled right now; otherwise I suspect the price of my steak is going up.

And Merry Christmas to the DHS! As we celebrate the peace and joy of the season, give yourselves a big toast at your holiday party on your timing and priorities: another "Mission Accomplished."


December 5, 2006
The next logical step in high technology: Tinfoil
D.M. Register. Opinion. December 10, 2006

This Mediacom verses Sinclair dispute is beginning to give me anxiety and harsh my technology cave existence.

I sit here on the couch staring at the screen of my laptop, connected wirelessly to a downstairs router, cable modem and onto the Internet. I occasionally glance across the room at a big screen TV displaying CNN Headline News, muted and close captioned so that the surround-sound system can blast tunes through speakers or headphones as I contemplate and type on this keyboard.

On a large end table next to me, always within reach, sit my mobile communications devices. My Blackberry organizer for "work" has numerous utilities - cell phone, email, and web access - a sort of nerdy version of a Swiss army knife. Next is my "personal" cell phone that takes pictures, videos and plays tunes, with personalized inbound and outbound ring tones. Next to my phone sit two other "family" cell phones sharing a charging unit, and a couple of handsets for the legacy, two-wire, land line, "home" phone which always look sort of old and clunky next to everything else.

On the side of my head is a little Bluetooth earpiece thingy that frees me from actually having to reach over and pick up a phone. It makes me look and feel one step closer to the Borg.

On the lower level of the end table sits a combination printer-scanner-copier-fax machine, four types of paper and lots of remotes: for the TV, DVD, DVR, cable box, and four types of video game consoles, remotes for the lights and fan above, and the robots that vacuum the carpet and mop the floors. Way in the back, collecting dust much like me, are remotes for old CD players, cassette decks, VCRs and other unknowns.

Today, as insurance to continue to receive free over the air local broadcasts (specifically football and the Simpsons) I shall upgrade my system with the installation of a set of rabbit ears, a "TV-top antenna." It belonged to my grandfather who never threw anything away. Packed for decades in my basement, it still has a little aluminum foil flag on one of the ears.

Grandpa had another one with a dial on the front that would turn the ears. Fine tuning remotely from a couple inches away; now that was a cool antenna. I wonder who got that one?


December 1, 2006
I shall smoke and fart

I shall smoke. And I shall fart.
And I shall not pay a gas tax or double to park!

I'll be doused with English Leather,
Yardley, Axe and Tag, whatever.

You've seen me in that junky car I rent,
As I eat my burrito and puff a Parliament.

And as Gina and Mary Ann come near,
I jump out and rip a good one, from there to here.

Then I exhale my vapors all into the air,
And release toxins and poisons and my WMD everywhere.

The smoke and smell ascend to eye level,
Assaulting their senses and burn like the devil!

"Where's Hensley? Where's Kiernan? Where's Cownie when we need 'em?
The government must help us curtail this guy's freedom!"

As I run down the ramp I yell back in good cheer,
"Merry Christmas to all and a Happy New Year!"


June 19, 2006
Congress: Nice work if you can get it
D.M. Register. Opinion. June 28, 2006

Hardly making news last week, the U.S. House of Representatives quietly gave itself a $3,300 raise; a so-called annual cost-to-living adjustment, which was automatic and didn't require an up-or-down vote.

Beginning next January, the lowest compensation for members of Congress will be $168,500 plus taxpayer-subsidized perks such as health and life insurance, free outpatient care and a pension. (Not to mention the free meals, vacations and other trips paid for by business groups and other lobbyists.) All that for their oh-so hard schedule of 97 days in session annually.

How very convenient; with record deficits and debt, the lowest approval rating in history, and without having to vote publicly and therefore bringing attention to it, the gutless members of Congress give themselves a raise for the ninth straight year. Interesting, for the same nine years, Congress has not seen fit to raise the federal minimum wage that remains at a dismal $5.15 per hour, set in 1997.

Where else but Congress can someone give themselves a raise without any accountability and without regard to performance? Oh, I remember now, CEITC…


June 5, 2006
Red Light Cameras

Boy, I want to get into the red-light camera business like Redflex.  This may be the biggest taxpayer rip-off I've ever seen.

In 2004, Clive issued 100 citations for running a red light, representing fines totaling $7,600.  In 2005, the total was about 140 citations for $10,000.

Clive will now spend $409,080 annually for seven cameras along Hickman road. Redflex will issue $75 tickets for violations and keep 50-65 percent of the revenue.  That means approximately 10,200 citations will have to be issued to make this stupid plan break even.

Now that the Clive police are outsourcing traffic control, perhaps the next step is to outsource the rest of their job to some private vigilantes group.  Then they can spend their whole shift in the donut shops.


May 23, 2006
The Official Language of the Colonies

Regarding the proposal declaring English the official language of the United States - it's a pippin' idea - but please make sure it's proper English, the King's English. Make sure you know the difference between an adjective and adverb, and how to conjugate. And certainly, get spelling right this time. It's colour not color. It's cheque not check.

And remember to get the words right, it's not a trunk, it's a boot. It's not a hood, it's a bonnet. It's not a truck, it's a lorry. And most important - it's not a toilet, it's a lu.

Learn these things and many others and you too can speak English.  Cheers.


May 15, 2006
Great Iowa Treasure Hunt
D.M. Register. Opinion. May 25, 2006

Every time the Register drags out the Great Iowa Treasure Hunt, I always look and there's never anything out there for me. But so amusing is what you actually find. Just looking A thru C today, I ran across: Allied Group/Insurance, Bankers Trust, Beach Girls, Bettendorf Amvets, Brenton Investments, Broadlawns Homeless Outreach, Carpetland USA, Children's Hospital Physicians and CIETC (breathtaking!)

Does anyone actually work in the Iowa Treasurer's office? Have they ever thought of picking up a telephone and calling a few of these well known entities and get things off the books?
Are any of my state tax dollars paid by the Treasurer's Office to the Register to advertise this stuff and play this game every year?



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